Control your anger before it controls you – not only for the betterment of your relationship, but also for yourself. Getting agitated, irritated or angry is a common emotion you experience, but knowing the right way to channelise, and deal with it, is the key.
Excessive anger can wreak havoc on your personal life and relations as well as can on your mental health. You will always be unhappy, insecure, having arguments with friends and peers, and most importantly, you will create a rift between you and your loved ones. So, control it before it gets the better of you. Here are four ways you can control your anger issues…
Practise The 10-Second Rule
No matter how agitated or angry you are, always try to practise a 10-second gap before responding or making a decision. Actions taken when you’re angry can often be impulsive and not thoroughly thought-out which can later turn out to be an issue. Try to compose yourself, close your eyes and count until 10 before responding to your trigger. This will help calm you down and compose your senses. Words once spoken cannot be taken back but with this exercise you can stop yourself from getting into such sticky situations!
Use Humour To Diffuse The Tension
Humour, not sarcasm. Tread lightly on this matter as even the slightest hint of sarcasm can tick off the situation from bad to worse. Instead of blowing up on each other, take the initiative to use humour and a few light-hearted jokes here and there to release the tension between the two of you. This way, you will have conveyed what you think or at least have touched the topic and not made the situation worse.
Own Your Issue
The first step towards resolving your anger issues is to own it. Acknowledging the fact that you are having troubles controlling your temper that is eventually bleeding into your relationship will help you gain clarity on how to proceed with the resolution. Accept it, discuss it with your partner and together come to a soultion even if it means therapy or counselling. It will only benefit the two of you and most importantly, you. Owning your issues and accepting it is half the battle won.
Deep breathing exercises, relaxation exercises or a simple yoga routine everyday will go a long way in managing your anger issues. Habituate yourself to practise meditation or yoga first thing in the morning before you get into your daily routine. This will help centre your thoughts and make you more self-aware.
5 Ways You Can Practise A Happy Married Life
Many experts believe that the secret to healthy marriage lies in equal participation of both the partners. There are a few principles that couples can follow if they want their union to brim with happiness, and also stay calm and balanced at the same time. Jeevika Sharma, guidance counsellor and tarot card reader lists down the five main principles for a happy married life:
1. Communication And Understanding
Whenever there is a disagreement between couples, it is important that both of them sit down and talk. It is absolutely important you communicate with each other and there’s no other way. If you store your emotions away and refuse to talk about any problem then invariably, the very issue would resurface in the future at an even bigger scale. As communication and understanding go hand in hand, it is imperative you work on this factor together, and do not neglect it.
2. Trust And Honesty
Trust and honesty are the founding stones of any relationship. If there is honesty between partners then there will be trust and vice versa. Honesty breeds trust and therefore, you need to be honest about everything with your life partner. Most times, couples in a committed relationship often tend to lie about certain things. If you find yourself lying to your partner, you need to ask yourself why. Why did the need to lie come up? If your partner won’t approve of something then you should first speak to him/her and understand where you stand on the issue but lying is not a solution. It will only complicate things further.
3. Ability To Confront
A marriage can only be saved by people who are mature enough to deal with various challenges in a relationship. If you or your partner cannot deal with any problem which may come your way in a mature manner, then the bond would collapse sooner or later. If there is something that is ebbing your mental peace either about your SO or something else confront and reach a solution together. Running away from arguments or any confrontation can never help instead it would sour the relationship even further.
4. Financial Openness
If both are working spouses or even if one of them is, there needs to be a certain set of rules you need to abide by. Although you don’t need to report each and every transaction to your partner, both of you need to be open about current and projected expenses to avoid any conflict later. Do not keep secrets about investments or an income a secret if that affects the running of your household together. Be open and honest about your financial situation.
5. Loyalty And Commitment
Get into a relationship knowing fully sure that he/she is the partner you want to spend the rest of your life with. There would be times when you may get attracted to another person or have a mild crush, and that’s only human. It is your decision at the moment that actually decided the fate of your relationship. Like many couples, discuss about your feelings with your partner and ensure there is no insecurity or a secret when it comes to this. This way, your SO will know that you are not only open but also committed and respectful towards your relationship. Loyalty and commitment are not only signs of love, they are also signs of respect for your partner – an assurance you would never do anything to hurt him/her.